REJECTED ADS

As a creative, I get creative.  As an impulsive creative, I tend to create compulsively.   Occasionally this compelled creativity takes the form of commercials for companies who haven’t requested commercials. This leads to a lot of #RejectedAds

GoDaddy

 “Ridin’ Round on My Ski-doo. Can’t see me, but I see u”

I was GoDaddy’s spokesperson for a year.  I did their Super Bowl ad.  They asked for my advice in creating a viral marketing campaign.  I engaged my good friend Billy Uomo to make the hottest track possible; he delivered the tune and I brought the fire.  GoDaddy politely refused and later that year I was replaced by the spokesperson I had replaced: Danika Patrick  - Double Rejection!!!  

Domino’s/Pizza Hut/Little Caesars

“There’s a time for pizza.  And the time is NOW“ 

I heard the Pizza Time lyrics in a dream.  I sang the song to Taylor Goldsmith of Dawes.   He listened, Prius’d to the studio, and delivered a symphonic masterpiece within the hour. Jonpaul Douglass constructed a pizza-shaped skateboard and video’d this stunning pizza picture which, to date, all major pie providers have refused to purchase.

Away Luggage

“Get Away.  Get Away from ME”

Away is a classy online suitcase company that sells the glamour of travel. And what’s more glamorous than a perfume commercial?  Nothing…except a perfume type commercial starring my dad in a yellow Mazda Miata.  At least that’s what I thought when I made this.  Still no word from the bigwigs at Away.

Audible

“Books are hard to read while moving”

Audible is my favorite way to waste $15 a month.  I attempted to recoup some of that cash by creating a video highlighting the fun of listening to words.  No response.

Refinery 29

“Your inbox is full”

I know the CEO of Refinery29.  She’s nice and smart.  I pitched her “sexy calendar” as Valentine’s day content.  I convinced hyper-talented photographer Jonpaul Douglass to endure my nudity for hours to create this scintillating series.  We got the shots then Refinery’s Chief Legal Council took one look & said, “No way! Not Ever!”

I judo’d the fail by making my own Valentine’s video & occasionally posting “birthday suit” pics on my birthday, half-birthday, and Facebook friend anniversaries. 

White Girl Rosé

“We take Beyoncé butt-blasts & BIEber blood, put ‘em in a surrogate & mix ‘em on up”

I am college friends with the co-owner of White Girl Rosé.   He’s said publicly that he likes my humor.  He requested a mini-commercial for the best selling rosé ever.  I delivered these two bangers and he’s been avoiding me at friend gatherings.  Apparently, companies don’t enjoy seeing their product emerge from my butt.

Thank you for exploring this far. If you are at an ad agency & like this crap, I wish you all the best trying to convince your client. Godspeed!